Author: Beach Sloth

Beach Sloth runs the predominant alt lit review blog.

Beach Sloth enters the mind of Theo Thimo


A lot of people enjoy asking artists about their influences, what inspires them to make that art, and how they see their art evolving. The assumption being that a reader actually cares about that sort of stuff. What readers do not know about assuming things is they make an ass out of you and me. Maybe those readers are so well read they never would have thought about a cliché, yet clichés are all around and prevalent in modern day society. I sat down to ask Theo Thimo some questions. Some of them actually deal with a piece of writing. Many of them were totally random things I thought up and thought “Hey maybe Theo Thimo could answer this is in a funny way”.

1. Theo Thimo, a lot of your work explores the space between the digital and real. In your most recent work you discuss these friends wondering about you from a far. How does it feel to be so close to your fans (via the Internet) yet so far (via the distance lifestyle)?

thank u so much and great great question, i have so much respect for u and for electric cereal, what a great publication and I’m so proud to be a part of it and also i am so proud to be getting asked questions by beach sloth because i have so much respect for him and I’m good too, thank you.

2. What is the first memory you ever had of a lawn mower?

i saw a conceptual art piece that was just like, a lawn mower when i was like 7

i think my earliest lawnmower memory maybe involves an earwig tho

3. Is excessive online consumption a necessary evil in order to accurately connect with people or is it hanging out in real life that is a necessary evil in order to make a living?

excessive online consumption isn’t evil and it’s good actually and great and people should be using the internet more than they probably are, and i need be constantly chatting with people on fb/throughout the day on my phone, it feels rly good to feel connected w/ all ur friends and i highly recommend it to everyone, its good

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I pulled up to the curb in a limo exploded on fire. I tipped the bellhop a pillow I stole from an IKEA in 1997. 1997 was a very emotional year for me because I had emotions back then.

Right on the dance floor was the hottest moose I have ever seen. I wanted to hit on the moose so bad but the moose was in a long term relationship and I respect that. Across from the moose was a duck sitting at the bar.

I told the duck

“Hey did you know Alan Greenspan’s penis is three inches when fully erect?”

The duck told me

“Yeah sports also politics.”

Yes we had quite the conversation until my inner child got intoxicated on my adulthood’s success. Together I went with my inner child to a Baltimore 7/11 and was pissed I could not buy a 40 at the place something about alcohol laws. I stopped paying attention.

Drunk I walked through Whole Foods in the Inner Harbor talked with a crab. The crab led me to my friend who worked at the local candy shop. I wanted her candy so bad, like lollipops. Lollipops are hot shit.

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Love me love me


Burlesque courtesan
Skilled in the erotic arts

And down to earth

Fully functional
Inviting ass

With her delightful airs
And impish smile
Oh that mischievous teenager

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