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Rebecca Upton | Electric Cereal

Author: Rebecca Upton

Rebecca can also be found on Twitter @softgrungedog and Tumblr.

Modern Disconnection

I’ll leave you to your Sudoku puzzles
and cryptography I can never make sense of.
My telepathy is weak,
or maybe the strength of our wireless internet connection is to blame.
I saw the smoke signals
and traced the braille in your letters
but neither gave me clarity.

I wonder how much time we collectively spend staring at our cell phones and computer screens,
and if we’re any better off for it.
Every time I check my e-mail it’s mostly spam,
and I don’t care for most of what is said on my Facebook newsfeed.
Kerouac didn’t have to deal with this and neither should I.

I’ve read a thousand Wikipedia articles
and spent hours on Netflix
but I haven’t been to the Eiffel Tower
or even the Grand Canyon.

Before the internet I had board games
and because of this I can solve the murder from the paper you’re reading,
it was Reverend Green in the kitchen with the revolver.

Being Holden Caulfield

Sometimes I get myself mixed up with characters from books.
I think about the time I ran away from prep school.
Then I think never mind, that was Holden Caulfield.
I don’t think anyone can verify that Holden Caulfield and I aren’t the same person.
I know that I certainly can’t
and I don’t want to.

Unpublished

I am walking to a friend’s house and thinking about publishing a book of poems.

I think “wouldn’t it be really cool if by the time I got to my friend’s house, my book was already published.”

A dog walks by and his owner gives me a dirty look.

A car almost hits me and I feel euphoric and alive instead of scared and small.

By the time I get to my friend’s house, I haven’t published a book of poems.

Things You Can Do with a Ouija Board

You can talk to a woman who died in 1805
in the exact room you are sitting in.
You can ask her if she is haunting your house
or if she is happy wherever she is.

Your friends at your sleepover
will be so impressed that you are brave
and unphased by this encounter with the unknown.
You can scare your friends
by acting like you are possessed by an evil spirit.

You might notice that one of your friends
seems to be guiding the planchette with her finger,
instead of vice versa.
This will make you trust her a little less.

You will get an angry call from the mother of a friend
who will tell you that you are going to Hell
for summoning the devil.

You can do all of these things if you buy a Ouija Board.
It will probably cost you around twenty dollars,
twenty-five if it’s glow-in-the-dark.