mumble stories

POSTED 08/01/15 AT 01:20:21 GMT

tonight i posted three photos of myself to the subreddit community r/amiugly. i called it x-post from /r/whydontboyslove me even tho there is no subreddit community called /r/whydontboysloveme. it is made up. i made it up. haha. i got three responses and two upvotes. one response said i look like i am on drugs. i do not think i look like i am on drugs in that photo but also i think i was on drugs in that photo. i checked his comment history and the last comment he made was on a post in the subreddit community /r/rateme and it said “Small dick.” one comment said i was no troll but he’d love to see how the body might make up for the face. i replied it doesn’t. lmao. he said he loves the female figure and the parts of that figure. also he said peach emoji.

another user said i look average which made me feel ok and i felt like /u/YA_BOOBS_SHOWEMTOME is probably an honest and logical person and not a mean or good person.

then i got a private message from /u/wasssupbuddy which included a photo of himself and asked if he could enjoy himself to my photo. he said he needed permission but i said it sounded a li’l bdsm-y and that those days are far over for me. but i decided not to send that in case he would like it, i didn’t want him to like it i don’t know. then i replaced my tinder picture with the one he (/u/wasssupbuddy) said he would pleasure himself to and i only felt a little nauseated.

once in the tenth grade i wrote an essay about how being ugly isn’t the end of the world and i said that most people are 4s or 5s or 6s which i don’t believe anymore and also i mentioned stephen hawking in some context and it was published in the literary magazine at high school on the last page and /u/YA_BOOBS_SHOWEMTOME’s comment has more upvotes than my post, which is ok and probably honest.

POSTED 29/01/15 AT 03:55:58 GMT

once i had a boy i called Scootinfruity that dropped out of high school in the year of our lord 2005 and he was 16 in that year. that was his thing. he had other things too, but that was his thing. it was kind of weird but he could buy me things like swisher sweets which was nice because i could not buy them. one night he took me to the toy store and we went in the toy store.

there were lots of old people like old men in the store and they looked like they ride motorcycles, which would be cool. Scootinfruity told me that they were not motorcyclers but they were Dungeon Masters like when we played D&D except it was different. and not to talk to them.

the toys were mostly big plastic things, but there were some also little glittery things or like i guess furry things. i liked to look.

then one of the DMs tells me get out. it was because i did not have a driver’s license because i was born in the year of our lord 1996 which was not enough for a driver’s license and which was not enough for toys.

i went to the car and Foxy 103 JAMZ was playing Drake and it was “Marvin’s Room.” i lit a blueberry Swisher Sweet and smoked it until i didn’t.

the bags the toys come in are black like trash bags which i think i wrote a poem about but i don’t want to think about.

Scootinfruity said the toys were $80 but i didn’t care because i wasn’t sure what that meant.

three weeks later laid on a bed in the Holiday Inn smoking a tropical Swisher Sweet i told Scootinfruity that you are the only one that has known me before Drake and also after Drake, which was not true but which was okay.

POSTED 05/02/15 AT 18:50:33 GMT

in late morning once i woke up and my roommate that lives in one room with me was gone which i like but her boyfriend was touching himself on the futon. i knew this because i could hear this. i wanted him to stop so i played the song “Love Is A Battlefield” which is by Pat Benatar and which my mother sings sometimes until he did not do it anymore, which did not take long i don’t think. i want to be angry about my roommate about the time i woke up to her bf touching himself but one time i have let upwards of two strangers have sex and probably also slap one another in her bed so it is ok i think.

POSTED 06/02/15 AT 19:51:08 GMT

once i borrowed an iron from this prson that also is in my dorm too and then he told me for thirty minutes about mycelia while i ate a cookie he gave me, except i did not like it or also him. my roommate told me that he wets the bed lmao, which i thought was funny and bad.

now last night he sent me a message on OKCupid which it said would you like to hook up with me? I live alone in a dorm room

i looked at his profile and he said that he thinks capitalism has made the world a better place and also that women have an obligation to shave their legs, so i said no i don’t want to hook up w you because i am hairy and also a

socialist aheh except then he messaged me to send him a pic of my hairy legs which i was like no

also i asked him if richard dawkins is a good fuck and then he asked me if i am a good fuck or if i am good fucked.

today i wanted to tell someone but also i didn’t want to tell someone i have an OKCupid account so i couldn’t.

About Marianna Hagler

Marianna Hagler lives in Athens, GA. She is the author of the chapbook, Rowdy Teens. Follow her on Tumblr and Twitter.

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