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nitrous | Jamison Murphy

nitrous

if we were rational animals, we’d be enjoying ourselves as much as that coked-up guy in jean shorts playing “holland, 1945” by the corner
but we have put away childish things

we have renamed our playlists “shit we liked in high school” on spotify

it’s sad. i am 18 tomorrow & still can’t understand the world’s subtler machinations
but hell, william james could only understand hegel under the influence of nitrous oxide

none of that is really important right now.
i’ve decided that the only important things to think about are the things that make me happy
like or share if you agree

i want you to call me out for the dumb things i say in front of the entire Whole Foods parking lot
i’m ready to face God
i want all my past deeds to be judged and then receive a bullet-pointed Quality Improvement Report from the Divine

i want you to imagine a teenage william james inhaling whippits before reading hegel
now imagine him furtively returning the unusable Whip-It bottles to the family refrigerator before his parents find out

if you think this is funny i think we will be friends

About Jamison Murphy

Jamison Murphy lives in Atlanta. He can be found on Twitter and Tumblr.

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