Nothing can destroy purity

nothing can destroy purity

Death is the mother of the universe!
Allen Ginsberg

One. Oporto (June 2014, with a brief stop in Lisbon)

If I look at a gray sky filled with gray seagulls I can not talk about pain.
I’ve had nightmares about cats, nightmares about fingers.
I’ve dreamt about ripping off my own skin to sleep better.
Sad readings are essential meanwhile you and I laugh and you were just about to do it on the inside, why didn’t you
 why.

The gray seagulls. The river.
I’ve come to eat fish and drink filthy wine. Listen, there are fat foreigners and sparrows, there is agua dulce and then suddenly an ocean. Will we go to the beach? Will we be scared of eating the fish with long bones? Will we be blamed for eating them mercilessly, inside taverns, where the rain can’t lash at us anymore?

Emoji of an anchor.
And emoji of a heart pumping cold beer on the bed of a tower filled with flowers.
All these images exist because every one of these throbs exists.

It has been days since I last heard the mermaids.
They’re away somewhere, trying to calm themselves.
Afraid of us who eat away at the ocean like greedy birds.

Two. Return to Barcelona (June ends)

Think about Naomi.
Imagine a world where every mother is dead.
Who would be left. Who of us would be left behind,
the sterile cats with tricolor fur,
the men with pale shriveled dicks,
the newborn doves?

me?

Think: emoji of a seagull defecating from a certain height—perhaps from a church, or an unlit lamp amid the Oporto night—over my head, now wet and viscous, how gross, I say, how fucking gross.

Think: emoji of my face filled with joy that my belly yearns to be a mother but you don’t.

You don’t.

We are so happy. We don’t laugh much. We dance amid sardines and cream cakes.
We drink too much.

Think: that an orphan poet is not a poet but an artifact loaded with hot gunpowder.

Here we are all sterile.
Here we are all alive.

 

Translated from the Spanish by Luis Silva

About Luna Miguel

Luna Miguel is the publisher of El Gaviero Ediciones in Barcelona. Her work has been published in Shabby Doll House, The Quietus, and Adult. Follow her blog, Twitter, and Tumblr.

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