the secret to the perfect something

it was during the reading when i saw dug and nini sneaking out back that i realized they’re both two living, independent people, like two big balls, two big energy balls filled with gravity and science. they didn’t just seem like old people, actually they were the opposite of old people, they were stupid, and funny to watch. in the hall, everyone was drinking beer, i went to dug and said ‘im getting fucked up!’ and laughed, and he laughed too but he didn’t do it in his self-aware, stylish way. it was just like a raw laugh, like a youtube video laugh. jesus, it seemed unbelievable. he asked how i liked the reading, and i said, ‘the ending was the best,’ and he looked uncomfortable. but that’s ok, i’m used to making friends uncomfortable. ‘i’m just kidding, it was all awful like always’ i said, and started laughing for him. dug kept looking around the room. i said, ‘you’re not paying any attention to me,’ and sighed and told him that i saw her go outside. dug made a funny face and gave me a hug, like we were real friends, like sitcom friends, the best kind of friends. i walk towards antony. ‘love is in the airrrrr,’ i said.

he tells me that they’re gross then siz walks by us and we both hold our breath until he passes, and we look at each other like it’s funny, and we both make hissy noises in unison. and later, i’ll be talking to my 3yr old niece, and she’ll say, ‘what’s that?’ while pointing to my armpit, and i’ll say, ‘yeah, you’ll get hair there when u grow up.’

‘when i grow up!’ she says, ‘when i grow up i’ll be just like u!’

‘yeah, yeah you can totally do that, you can be like anyone else too, or i mean, you don’t have to be me, you can be anyone, you can be yourself i mean, you can be totally different, you know, be yourself, yeah.’

and she kept trying to get up but her face was on the floor and she couldn’t really stabilize her lower body, and life sometimes feels like a photo album if you think about how things were and how they are now, like a big photo album, nothing really happening, chuckle at a funny face, look at an interesting sculpture, be confused by who exactly everyone is, like a big happy photo album.

About Theo Thimo

Theo Thimo lives in Brooklyn. He has been published in Metazen, Press Board Press, Shabby Doll House, and Everyday Genius. He can also be found on Twitter and Tumblr.

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