What My Family Thinks Of Your Book I Love

In which, on a recent summer visit to my hometown of Kendall, NY (population 2,700), I ask various members of my family what they think about some of my favorite books. Each book’s cover was examined, and in some cases, books were opened midway and skimmed.

hill_williamHill William by Scott McClanahan

Brother (28, three beers): “This looks so boring.”

Mother (60): “This looks like something I would never want to read. I like nonfiction. I like Dickens. I feel if I tried to read this, I wouldn’t be able to understand it.”

green girl kate zambreno coverGreen Girl by Kate Zambreno

Brother (28): “Looks ridiculously French and prissy as fuck.”

Mother (60): “The cover reminds me of a girl that’s on drugs or who has a weird addiction or obsession.”

Mother (60): “I wouldn’t read this either because I feel that this is a story about every single thing… she’s not just one thing, she’s fifteen things.”

Mother (60): “ Also, it’s too cluttered. Not the cover, the whole book.”

New Tab guillaume morissetteNew Tab by Guillaume Morissette

Brother (28): “This is like, typical nice guy finishes last bullshit.”

Mother (60): “The cover on this one looks interesting to me because it looks old fashioned.”

Mother (60): “I wouldn’t read this book because I’d be reading a story about things I don’t believe in.”

meat-heart-melissa-broderMeat Heart by Melissa Broder

Brother (28): “Hipster.”

Mother (60): “The cover looks interesting but then you know it’s not about meat because it’s written by a girl.”

Mother (60): “This would be too much work for me to read.”

Father (68): “ Well, those are meat axes there for chopping up meat.”

Father (68): “Some poetry I don’t get… there is only slim jim love…. I don’t know what that means.”

dont kiss me lindsay hunterDon’t Kiss Me by Lindsay Hunter

Brother (28): “ Typical American romantic comedy.”

Beside-Myself-Ashley-FarmerBeside Myself by Ashley Farmer

Brother (28): “Way too many adjectives.”

Tampa NuttingTampa by Alissa Nutting

Brother (28): “This looks like a vagina.”

Mother (60): “I wouldn’t read this book because it’s about pedophilia, especially because it’s woman on boy.”

Mother (60): “This reminds me of a vagina, which is instantly disgusting.”

Brother (25): “This looks like a vagina.”

cant and wont lydia davisCan’t and Won’t by Lydia Davis

Brother (28): “ Cacophony of random stories.”

Mother (60): “I have no idea what this is about.”

Brother (25): “Why is it black?”

pink steam dodie bellamyPink Steam by Dodie Bellamy

Brother (28): “Who is Vincent Price? Pop culture meets weird.”

Mother (60): “This reminds me of a book a teeny-bopper would read because it has those pink colors on it.”

Mother (60): “ I wouldn’t read this one either. There’s too much in it.”

Brother (25): “Reminds me of bubble gum.”

wyoming iris cushingWyoming by Iris Cushing

Brother (28): “Chuck Klosterman.”

Mother (60): “I’d probably look at this book and think there are pictures of Wyoming but if I looked inside and saw that it was not a story I wouldn’t buy it.”

Brother (25): “Reminds me of the Alamo.”

About Erin Dorney

Erin Dorney is a founding editor of The Triangle. Her work has been published in The Newer York, The Fox Chase Review, and Potluck Mag. She can also be found on Tumblr and Twitter.

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